A Need for Change

I've been looking through all my posts, and realized that basically my latest postings were all on depressing topics.

I want to make a change. I don't know if I can or have the absolute will power to do so. I wish I can think happy thoughts, I really do. Instead, I put all my focus onto the negative ones and I think that is what is tearing me apart.

I wish I can just focus on beauty and not care about what needs to be done. I wish I can just stop thinking and focus on now. But this always slows me down. I always have to smiling and laughing to cover up to the world how I really feel. And I even begin to forget if I'm happy because I'm happy or happy as a cover up.

"So hold on just a little bit longer

At least through the night.

At least until the morning

Hold on

Hold on to me

I can hardly stand

Much less the sight of myself

So hold on

Hold on tight, dear

Put your foot on the gas

Get me the fuck outta here"

~O'Rourke's, 1:20 A.M. by The Good Life~

Sam