American Beauty

"I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time...
It's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life."


~Lester Burnham~



Sam

Leech

I've been thinking about them lately.

My grandparents
My inspirations
My constant need for never ending thought.
My hope that my future will work itself out.
My need to just smile like absolutely nothing's wrong.

I love all of those. I crave, need, leech onto them.





Sam

Speaking Vs. Writing

Hearing and speaking words never phases me.

Putting them down in writing promises a sense of permanence for the subject. In writing, I don't have to make a studdering mess out of myself. I have time. I have time to think the exact placement of each letter in a word, proper diction, creativity, and the option to take back what I state.

I can't talk to save my life. Some days, I wish I was born a mute so I can have an excuse not to talk. But, I talk, even though most of the exhaled words are completely alien to the english language. My incessant 'ums' and 'likes' distract from the main point, while I put too much emphasis on the oral presentation of the words.

I wasn't born a speaker, but a writer.

Sam

Hole

Perhaps this hole

in my chest is getting filled.

Will you leave me a scab?

Sam

Piercings

I don't know why I've got the cravings for piercings.

I just got my industrial today. I tell myself I will stop there, but what if I get another urge? I know I'll have some pretty pissed off parents. (Not that they're already pissed about the new addition to my ear). But hopefully, it'll stop there.


Sam

Activism

Why do people think they can change such important issues such as gay rights and abortion?

There are rallies, protests, and hate crimes commited because of these events. They stand on street corners holding up signs with pictures of dead babies and men kissing with an X. What does that prove? They are just shouting their own opinions to themselves.

America was raised under the beliefs that we have the freedom to express ourselves. That's the reason why immigrants want to come to this country. That's surely why my ancestors chose to come here. It promotes freedom and individuality. Everyone has brought over their own beliefs and values to America. What makes you think scolding them will suddenly turn gay men straight or turn everyone into pro-life fanatics. Only the strong minded stick to their beliefs. It's the dumb blondes, made from plastic while carrying a dog in her purse, whom are dumb enough to convert. And they most certainly have several more important issues to worry about... such as what outfit they should expose to the public, or even what color hair they should have next.

I just don't understand the point of rallies. It's just bringing opinions out into the open. And that's great. I don't have a problem if you think my views on religion are wrong. Really, I don't. Please, go worship your God. But don't tell me who I should worship. I have my agnostic rights just as the Catholics do gathering up their followers to church.

So, don't tell me what to believe, I'll just cover my ears.

(In response to a TV documentary I saw)

Sam

Discovery

I've been desensitized to taking things seriously.

I've turned everything into sarcasm in my mind. Maybe it's to cover up the fact that I don't want this to be real. What if life is just a joke, but we still play it. Everything here is just a simulation, and when our simulation is over, we will then find out what life really is.

Sam

College...So Far

College is like Horton when he loses Whoville.

You feel compelled to find that tiny speck in the massive, pink flower field. Searching all day and night for the location of just a speck,
but that speck can have your whole world in it.

You just have to find it.

Sam

Days and Years

It seems that the days go by so slow
but the years rush right before your eyes.




Sam

What I Need Right Now

-Sleep

-Wild Berry Tea in my 'Stress-free' mug (Thank you Cassandra <3)>

-My mind back

-Boots and snowpants
-Snowball gun

-Exercise

-My job as a barista back

-Finals to be over with

Sam